Different Types of Seders
There are, or course, different types of Seders. I grew up in a slow seder, where my dad would be interrupted at every line by me or one of my siblings, wanting to repeat a dvar torah that we had learned in school. There were always lots of kids at the seder, between cousins and guests, that the Seder was one of the more fun religious experiences we would have.
I married into a different type of seder, though. This one, while well intentioned and attempting to focus on the children at the table, was actually driven by the much older generation, whose primary seder goal was to be in bed by 11.
Not to say that the seder isn't nice. There is much more singing throughout the seder than at the seders I grew up with, but it is always a sense that we need to be going faster. And it doesn't help that there are four of them over 80, and only three under 10.
This year, as we ate the Matzah, some of the grandparents were moving ahead to marror, and as we were still chomping on matzah, they were eating their Korach sandwich and wondering why things were taking so long.
I never used to mind the quicker Seder. Now, I find myself wishing it sowed down a bit, and encouraged the boys to be involved more. I'd like to ask them to read and lead a section, the way I grew up doing. Instead, I sit with them for a few minutes while the seder whizzes on by, wondering if they are getting anything at all out of the evening.
On the bright side, this will probably be their last Pesach at my inlaws. Next year we plan on being at my parents, assuming they don't go running off to Israel for Pesach like they did last year, and after that, we will be in Israel having only a single seder.
I married into a different type of seder, though. This one, while well intentioned and attempting to focus on the children at the table, was actually driven by the much older generation, whose primary seder goal was to be in bed by 11.
Not to say that the seder isn't nice. There is much more singing throughout the seder than at the seders I grew up with, but it is always a sense that we need to be going faster. And it doesn't help that there are four of them over 80, and only three under 10.
This year, as we ate the Matzah, some of the grandparents were moving ahead to marror, and as we were still chomping on matzah, they were eating their Korach sandwich and wondering why things were taking so long.
I never used to mind the quicker Seder. Now, I find myself wishing it sowed down a bit, and encouraged the boys to be involved more. I'd like to ask them to read and lead a section, the way I grew up doing. Instead, I sit with them for a few minutes while the seder whizzes on by, wondering if they are getting anything at all out of the evening.
On the bright side, this will probably be their last Pesach at my inlaws. Next year we plan on being at my parents, assuming they don't go running off to Israel for Pesach like they did last year, and after that, we will be in Israel having only a single seder.
posted by Air Time at 11:03 AM
3 Comments:
I love what you wrote about. I linked it to a new post (stillwonderin.blogspot.com).
Thanks for the comment. The seder was very frustrating for me, and that's without getting into the politics of who is mad at who at the table and who isn't speaking to who.
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