R.A.B.B.I.
"Heint in America, the Matziv is terrible," the rebbi tells us in that uniquely yeshivish blend of yiddish, english and hebrew, his hand rubbing his chest in between the buttons on his shirt. His hand moves toward his belt. "Gay rights and premarital mayses. Oy."
We are told that every day in ninth grade.
We are also told that there is nothing in the world worse, we are told, than being a Baal Habaus. We are warned of the dangers of the world outside the Beis Medrash. We are told that college is a dangerous place and no yeshiva boy should ever go to college. If you need a parnassah, you can always go into chinuch.
Some people buy into it, I'm sure.
But we are American kids, and we don't think that America is so bad, even with gay rights and premarital sex. In fact, premarital sex sounds pretty good to ninth graders.
As Americans we have come to respect the power of the press. And so, in Tenth grade, just outside the watchful eye of Principal Rabbi Blitz, meetings take place. We need a school newspaper, one that will capture the spirit of the students.
Our school has computers, and we have spent the semester learning Word Star, a program our computer teacher has told us is the top word processor on the planet.
Deece is the editor, he assembles a few writers, and within a few days, The first issue of the Radical Adolescent Baal haBatim Institute, or R.A.B.B.I., as it says across the masthead of the paper, is ready.
The paper is about 4 pages long, and includes such memorable lines as the one from Jay's gossip column which reports that Rabbi Blitz has been traded to New Jersey for an undisclosed amount of cash.
Bee, a Junior from Chicago, believes in the project, and pays for the entire first printing.
The paper goes on sale for ten cents each. This whole project has been completely underground. Still, word filters up to the Hanhala that we have published a newspaper.
Rabbi Blitz comes over to Deece, and asks where his copy is. Deece has one of the all time greatest lines, when he tells Rabbi Blitz "You can have a copy, but you'll have to pay your dime just like everybody else."
Rabbi Blitz is not amused. There is an intense amount of yelling and screaming. Deece is not kicked out of yeshiva, but his fate is sealed.
He, like most of our class, will not return for 11th grade.
We are told that every day in ninth grade.
We are also told that there is nothing in the world worse, we are told, than being a Baal Habaus. We are warned of the dangers of the world outside the Beis Medrash. We are told that college is a dangerous place and no yeshiva boy should ever go to college. If you need a parnassah, you can always go into chinuch.
Some people buy into it, I'm sure.
But we are American kids, and we don't think that America is so bad, even with gay rights and premarital sex. In fact, premarital sex sounds pretty good to ninth graders.
As Americans we have come to respect the power of the press. And so, in Tenth grade, just outside the watchful eye of Principal Rabbi Blitz, meetings take place. We need a school newspaper, one that will capture the spirit of the students.
Our school has computers, and we have spent the semester learning Word Star, a program our computer teacher has told us is the top word processor on the planet.
Deece is the editor, he assembles a few writers, and within a few days, The first issue of the Radical Adolescent Baal haBatim Institute, or R.A.B.B.I., as it says across the masthead of the paper, is ready.
The paper is about 4 pages long, and includes such memorable lines as the one from Jay's gossip column which reports that Rabbi Blitz has been traded to New Jersey for an undisclosed amount of cash.
Bee, a Junior from Chicago, believes in the project, and pays for the entire first printing.
The paper goes on sale for ten cents each. This whole project has been completely underground. Still, word filters up to the Hanhala that we have published a newspaper.
Rabbi Blitz comes over to Deece, and asks where his copy is. Deece has one of the all time greatest lines, when he tells Rabbi Blitz "You can have a copy, but you'll have to pay your dime just like everybody else."
Rabbi Blitz is not amused. There is an intense amount of yelling and screaming. Deece is not kicked out of yeshiva, but his fate is sealed.
He, like most of our class, will not return for 11th grade.
posted by Air Time at 9:42 AM
9 Comments:
That is sooo great. What were you guys thinking when you started setting this up? Were you aiming to stick it to the Rabbis, or was it a real aim and attempt to write what was on your guys' minds and what was going on in your lives?
It takes a lot of guts to pull something like that off. Were you thinking that, or was it just like, we're gonna do it and who cares?
-OC
Deece managed to survive to embarassment to his family. He now plays goal in a world-renowned hockey league and has many adoring fans, some of whom have songs written about him. But he does wear blue shirts to Bar Mitzvahs in that Yeshiva. Oy.
Would this be the same D.C. that went, along with AirTIme, to Toronto?
one and the same
OC-
Why did we do it?
Probably a combination of suicide by cop mixed with some stick it to the man and a sprinkling of who really cares anyway.
Well look at BornAbroad. Already checking JRants out! I'm telling you, its only a matter of time....
Born: JRants isn't a top ten or anything like that. It goes by time; more like a sequential list of updated blogs
thanks for bursting my bubble. So much for bursting my Jrant high
what do you say to that JPT
Maybe it's alphabetical
Post a Comment
<< Home