Second Borns
My wife is a second born. I am a first born. It means we have different perspectives on a lot of things.
When our second child was born, she sid she would never treat him any differently than our first born. Which doesn't quite explain why we have pitcures of our oldest at 3 month intervals from the time he was born until the time his brother was born, and we have 0 professional pictures of our second child.
It also doesn't explain how our oldest had a first birthday party and a two year old party, while our completely equal second child didn't have a birthday party until he was 3.
Usually I don't mind that we did things for my oldest that we didn't do for my middlest. Having more than one means more planning, and sometimes that doesn't happen. But I did feel bad today.
When my oldest finished any school year that had an end of year program, we took him out for pizza and tried to celebrate his accomplishment. When my five year old finished Kindergarten today, we went to the program, and brought him to day care for the rest of the day. No pizza lunch. No special praises.
I feel bad about that. He should have had his time today. But time and schedule didn't allow it, and we don't always make the same priority choices the second time around.
When our second child was born, she sid she would never treat him any differently than our first born. Which doesn't quite explain why we have pitcures of our oldest at 3 month intervals from the time he was born until the time his brother was born, and we have 0 professional pictures of our second child.
It also doesn't explain how our oldest had a first birthday party and a two year old party, while our completely equal second child didn't have a birthday party until he was 3.
Usually I don't mind that we did things for my oldest that we didn't do for my middlest. Having more than one means more planning, and sometimes that doesn't happen. But I did feel bad today.
When my oldest finished any school year that had an end of year program, we took him out for pizza and tried to celebrate his accomplishment. When my five year old finished Kindergarten today, we went to the program, and brought him to day care for the rest of the day. No pizza lunch. No special praises.
I feel bad about that. He should have had his time today. But time and schedule didn't allow it, and we don't always make the same priority choices the second time around.
posted by Air Time at 4:34 PM
11 Comments:
We bought him a present and a card. We didn't do that for the oldest...
I know this is probably years in the future, but you may want to archive this post in a few years if they know you have a blog. Kids can be really sensitive to this kind of stuff, even when they should be old enough to know better. (...and I am saying this as an oldest-born.)
thats so sad!
Tell me about it. I have album after album of #1, A few here and there of #2, almost none of #4, and a few that are still in my digital camera of #4. I'ts truly pathetic.
Awesome, you guys are building manly character with your second. No babying him, he will probably be the one to support you when you are old and wrinkled. No worries, Chill.
Being a second born myself. I can say with certainty that he proabbaly won't notice until late in life. I didn't know there were very few pictures of me and tons of my older sister until my grandma passed away and I inherited the photo albums. I am sure he will be fine. Especially since you are aware of the situation and therefore can take actions to rectify it.
I don't think there are any actions to rectify it. We're in the same boat as orthomom. 4 kids. nice albums with #1, half an album, maybe, for number 2. No real pictures of 3 or 4
how true. On the wall by the stairs going up, we had this great idea that each kid will have a row going up the stairs-one for each year. The first child has 4, the second has 2 and we haven't gotten around to the 3rd yet.
I am also a first born but I do feel bad for non-first borns. Since you are aware of the issue, please try harder to give him a little more attention.
Enjoyed a lot!
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