Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Deliquescophobia - Fear of Melting

My littlest is three years old. She likes to fight with her brothers, play on the computer and wear dresses to look pretty.

Oh, and she thinks she is going to melt.

It all started with her snow girl. You might remember, she started screaming a pain cry when she saw it had fallen over, the result of a few unseasonably warm days.

Later that evening, noticing the car was not on the driveway, she started to cry that the car, too, had melted.

In case you are wondering, the car did not melt, it was Friday night and the car was spending the weekend at shul, but I digress.

We explained that snow melts, chanukah candles melt, ice melts, but little girls do not melt.

My littlest did not believe us. She screamed every night at bed time that she did not want to be alone in her room. She was afraid she was going to melt.

So we ignored her, threatened her, talked to her, held her hand, but no matter what we did, every night was spent with my littlest in tears, terrified that she was going to melt.

On Friday night we let her sleep in a sleeping bag in her brothers' room. It made her happy, but it was time for a different strategy.

I went to our YudiJay, a former classmate who davens in our shul and is thisclose to being a real head doctor. I forget what kind, but it is the kind that you stay in school almost forever in order to become. He is nearing forever, and seems to know what he is talking about.

As a side point, I am certain YudiJay could go toe-to-toe with The Schwab. His mind is like a steel trap, and his sports knowledge is made even more remarkable by the fact that he does not have a TV, and has not had one for the last number of years. Even more remarkable, especially considering the lack of a TV in his house, is his son's sports knowledge. But once again, I digress.

Anyway, YudiJay is such a great therapist that even without having my littlest sit on the couch and tell him how her parents have wrecked her life, he knew that she was not really afraid of melting, but afraid of being alone, although it is "cute," according to YudiJay, that she is afraid of melting.

Although at first he felt that she needed four days a week of therapy at $150 a pop, he revised his initial recommendation. In his expert therapist advice, he recommended that we stay in her room when she goes to bed, at first waiting until she goes to sleep and then gradually leaving earlier and earlier so that soon, hopefully, we could send her up to bed and not even have to say goodnight to her.

So we tried it. Or actually, Veev tried it. She stayed in my littlest's room with her on Saturday night and Sunday night, and my littlest fell asleep relatively quickly. Last night, Veev was out at bed time, and I had to sit in her room. It wasn't terrible, and my littlest did fall asleep eventually. I think she is on the path to recovery.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

you forgot to mention that the very real wicked witch of the west melts.

actually, could it be your cute littlest is being a bit manipulative and/or control freaky?

January 10, 2006 12:25 PM  
Blogger Air Time said...

We actually did tell her about the wicked witch of the west.

And yes, she could very well be very manipulative.

January 10, 2006 12:28 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i have heard beatings are effective.

January 10, 2006 12:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

way to go jay!
next time, for pay.

January 10, 2006 12:30 PM  
Blogger Krunk said...

SO I'm thinking that showing her The Wizard of Oz is a bad idea?

January 10, 2006 1:08 PM  
Blogger Mirty said...

Now, I remember your first post about this. How she screamed and screamed when she saw the melted snowgirl and you calmly continued your phone conversation. I must admit I admire the ability to block out a child's screams. (I don't have it.) But now it seems the only way to undo the damage will be the re-enact that fateful moment. In this revised version, she screams, you drop the phone and run to her side saying, "Daddy's here" or some such thing, hold her, reassure her and promise to buy her a pony.

January 10, 2006 5:10 PM  
Blogger Air Time said...

The ability to tune out a child (or spouse, when needed) is a learned behavior. Anyone can do it.

January 10, 2006 8:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

air is right, but first practice on husbands.

January 11, 2006 2:00 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very cool design! Useful information. Go on!
» » »

December 23, 2006 4:41 AM  

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