My Littlest...The Liar
My Littlest, as I said yesterday, is 3. She is always changing, and yesterday I saw a new side of her, the determined liar.
I told her she could not have any cookies, and then went downstairs to do some work on the computer. A few minutes later she was downstairs, asking when it was her turn to play on the computer. Chocolate cookie crumbs lined the bottom of her lips.
Did you eat any cookies, I asked her.
No, she answered.
Are you sure, I asked again.
Again, she denied it.
This went on for a few minutes, until I walked her upstairs, and told her to look in the mirror. I pointed out the chocolate on the bottom of her lip, and she licked her lip with her tongue, and told me that maybe she had eaten some cookies in school.
I tried twice more that evening to get her to confess her lies, but she stood by her story. She had eaten the cookies in school.
This morning, I tried one more time to get the truth from her, and one more time, she stood by her story.
The truth is it is not easy to lie. One of the keys is to keep the story simple. The more layers of deception that are involved, the better chance one has of having it all unravel. Keep the story simple, so you don't have to remember all the complicated details and don't get mixed up when you retell the story, and the lie has a much better chance of standing the test of time.
And so it is a lesson my daughter has learned. And she is standing by her word. She didn't eat the cookies I told her not to eat. She had cookies in school.
What's she going to be like, I wonder, when she is six. Or sixteen?
And what if she was telling the truth?
I told her she could not have any cookies, and then went downstairs to do some work on the computer. A few minutes later she was downstairs, asking when it was her turn to play on the computer. Chocolate cookie crumbs lined the bottom of her lips.
Did you eat any cookies, I asked her.
No, she answered.
Are you sure, I asked again.
Again, she denied it.
This went on for a few minutes, until I walked her upstairs, and told her to look in the mirror. I pointed out the chocolate on the bottom of her lip, and she licked her lip with her tongue, and told me that maybe she had eaten some cookies in school.
I tried twice more that evening to get her to confess her lies, but she stood by her story. She had eaten the cookies in school.
This morning, I tried one more time to get the truth from her, and one more time, she stood by her story.
The truth is it is not easy to lie. One of the keys is to keep the story simple. The more layers of deception that are involved, the better chance one has of having it all unravel. Keep the story simple, so you don't have to remember all the complicated details and don't get mixed up when you retell the story, and the lie has a much better chance of standing the test of time.
And so it is a lesson my daughter has learned. And she is standing by her word. She didn't eat the cookies I told her not to eat. She had cookies in school.
What's she going to be like, I wonder, when she is six. Or sixteen?
And what if she was telling the truth?
posted by Air Time at 8:42 AM
11 Comments:
But cookies and Kissables were missing. How does she explain that?
yeah, the bag of cookies that she had was missing two cookies when i looke at it.
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I know when my kids are stretching or not telling the truth. My youngest, when I confront him, then makes it up by saying, "JUST KIDDING!" My middle, a girl, very clear-cut opts to not tell the truth. My oldest is honorable.
I just tell them, "You know, even if you don't tell me the truth, Hashem is watching and listening to everything you do. He knows if you lie." Might be too simplistic, but usually it has the kids 'fessing up!
Krunk -
Of course some of these things are stages, but they don't become lifetime habits when parents work with their kids to erase these habits.
Pearl - Maybe I'll try that hashem line next time.
Maybe she took the cookies to school and ate them?
It's generally not a good idea to put a child on the spot. If you already know she ate the cookies, why ask her? You're forcing her to defend herself. It also makes you look very wise when later in the day you happen to mention those cookies she ate while you were busy on the computer. . . (I tell my kids I have ruach hakodesh).
finally you have a normal kid who lies like the rest of the kids in the world!
Who said he is not a serial liar???
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