I Feel Sick

I woke up this morning feeling sick. I have a huge headache and a stomachache. Maybe I drank too much sweet wine last night at the dinner we went to. Maybe I also ate too much. Maybe I was just feeling sentimental because this was my last school dinner here.

But I think it's because I'm scared. Last night there was a thunderstorm that woke me up at about 1 am. The first thought that went through me was that it was a bomb. I had just been dreaming that a terrorist ran into the middle of my beautiful choir students (and son) last night and blew himself to pieces. The only other time I remember dreaming so vividly and so often as I have been lately, was when Air and I were engaged. I woke up every night in a pool of sweat fearing that I had forgotten some detail of preparation for the wedding. Like inviting the guests, or hiring the caterer, or telling Air what date it was.

This is not a post for commenting on, just a diary entry in the life of Veev.