Jameel asked me not to

Its true. I was IMing with Jameel the evening of the Azrielli Mall incident, and I told him the story. He asked me not to tell the story, but Jameel and I have different blog agendas. He wants to encourage the masses to make Aliyah; I only want to tell interesting stories that happen.

I tried to write this story a few days ago, and as I went to publish I lost my internet connection and the story was eaten by blogger. So this is attempt #2.

Here goes.

For those who don't know, the Azrielli mall is the center building of three buildings that make up the Azrielli Center. The tall office buildings are a familiar part of the Tel Aviv skyline, and between them lies the 3 story mall. There are two or three floors of stores in the mall, and on the roof, there is a large children's play area. The play area is filled with riding toys, climbing and jumping toys, and while I was at an interview a few blocks away, Veev and the kids were spending time in the play area. In addition to the climbing toys, there is a wet area, where kids can go down a water slide, splash in a small pool, or play in a few other wet play areas.

I need to say here that there is a lot of kid nudity going on at this play area. Parents bring bathing suits for their small children, and they change them right in the middle of the play area. I would guess that the oldest naked kid we saw was probably around 8 or 9, but the oldest kid looked a little retarded (with apologies to anyone who reads this with retarded children).

We spent a few hours in the mall, going to the play area in the morning, when I was not there, and then after lunch. Lunch, by the way, was a pleasant surprise, as almost the entire food court was Kosher.

Veev had Chinese, and the rest of us went for Burger King.

But I digress.

We were just about finished with our good time and ready to leave, when my littlest wanted to ride the train one last time. We let her, and stood near the track looking around the area. About fifty feet away, there was a little boy, naked, standing around.

"Is he shitting," I asked Veev.

There was no need for her to answer.

The answer was sitting on the floor between the boy's legs.

And then, he shitted again.

I kid (shit?) you not. And there was no mother in the area.

Well, the naked boy walked around his droppings, looking at them, before his attention went to other things. He did not step in it.

I should say that this entire time, Veev and I were deep in cringe mode.

Anyway, the incident took place next to a Little Tykes yellow track with a riding toy on it, and the kid began to pull a riding toy up on to the top of the track. The toy that he was pulling had no wheels, though, and he struggled mightily. Then, he tried to sit on the car, but after two or three tries he gave up and walked back to his pile.

Once back at the pile, he shat again.

Once.

Twice.

But this time, there were complications. Instead of falling safely to the ground as his previous three missiles had done, this one lingered, and landed on the inside of his leg, which was promptly spread all over his leg as he walked BACK TO A DIFFERENT TOY CAR that had wheels.

Then, he climbed on a car with wheels, and started riding it around.

Finally, a concerned parent, or disgusted patron, called over some staff. Two people came over. The first approached the kid, and asked AyFo Eema Shelcha (Where is your mother) but the kid just laughed and kept on riding the toy.

Meanwhile, a second staffer came by with a broom and dustbin, the same one he had been using all day, and swept the pile from the floor into the dustbin. Then, he dumped the dustbin into a garbage can, located between the tables, right between where people were sitting and eating.

By that time, my littlest's train ride was done, and we exited the play area.