The Dark Side

There are a few mainstream schools in Detroit. Yeshivat Akiva, where I send my children, Yeshiva Beth Yehudah, where I went to elementary school, and Darchei Torah, which began when YBY was not far enough to the right for some parents. There may be some other schools, like Lubavitch, but I don’t really know.

We frequently attend events for our school, supporting our children's education, but we rarely attend the other schools' events. We have gone to the YBY annual dinner, buy an occasional raffle ticket, and give money to the other schools when there is an appeal in shul, because we believe there is a place for all the schools in our community, even if we don’t like the way the other schools brand orthodoxy. Still, even at the dinner we sit with family, and don’t mingle very much with the YBY crowd.

Last night was the exception. We went to the YBY auction. It was a combination silent auction, live auction and chinese auction, with a strolling dinner. A friend and former classmate asked us to come, and did. We had a nice time, and my wife won a bracelet for her efforts.

The truth is we did not feel uncomfortable at all being parents of the other school, but it felt odd to be around couples with whom we shared a past but no longer shared a present. It wasn’t the individuals, either. Many of the people I saw last night I play hockey with or see on a semi-regular basis. But it was the whole crowd together, looking at them and seeing that they have developed into their own community, one that we are no longer a part of, which felt strange.