Thursday, January 04, 2007

Some Frank Talk About Urinals

I like urinals. That's not to say that I have one in my house yet, but the truth is, the urinal is really a highly evolved toilet.

There are, as any man who has ever been in a public restroom knows, several types of urinals. There is the ceiling to floor urinal, which does not discriminate against children and midgets or dwarves. There is the junior urinal, which was designed for children, midgets and dwarfs and hangs a good six inches lower than the standard urinal. And of course, there is the standard urinal, which hangs on the wall, and is the proper height for your average non-midget adult male.

There are other urinal types. A enterprising man in some foreign country created the standard urinal, but instead of white porcelain, the urinal was in the shape of a woman's lips. Tasteless, perhaps, but good for a laugh.

Inside the urinal, there are usually several pieces of soap, and on occasion, even some type of spinner for men to try and spin.

I tell you all this not merely because I use a urinal several times a day, but because there is not enough urinal talk in the J-blogosphere.

There are dangers to the urinal. Children like to touch the sides of urinals, especially when they are too short and need to hike themselves up a bit to get themselves over the edge (I am not sure if this applies to midgets or dwarves as well).

Urinals also come with different flushing mechanisms. Some randomly spray water down the sides intermittently throughout the day, while other require a flush. Some more modern urinals have automatic eyes, which flush when you step away, and who among us has never felt the misty spray of an automatic flusher that flushed too early.

Anyway, the reason I told you all this is to discuss the urinal at work. It is an Israeli urinal, and I don't believe it is made out of the same porcelain that it's US counterparts are composed of. It is not as shiny.

The urinal at work is deeper than most urinals, meaning that the distance from where the urinator stands (in this instance, me) is farther away from the back wall of the urinal than most urinals I have experienced. Surprisingly, the extra few inches that the urinator stands back actually protects the urinator from the urinal's darkest secret and biggest crime. Splashback.

With the deeper urinal, there is no risk of splashback regardless of how strongly you hit the wall.

The urinals are so deep, that they remind me of the precursor to the urinal, the trough.

Troughs are hard to find these days. The last time I used a trough was September 27, 1999, at the final game in Tiger Stadium. Talk about a bathroom that could move people. Dozens of people could use the trough at the same time. And while urinals have improved privacy issues, the price we pay is longer lines.

So, just to review.

Urinals - Good
Splashback - Bad
Urinals without Splashback - Good
Troughs - Excellent

Class dismissed


Blogger Emah S said...

You've got a new name that will forever be engraved in my head: THE URINATOR! hee hee just teasing...

ps. we're coming to Modiin tomorrow to check out the area. Needing to be closer to TA and the train that will eventually be running in Mod. What are the odds of finding a place with a decent view? drop me a note if you get a chance with any pertinent info....thanks, sus

January 04, 2007 7:43 AM  
Blogger Noahdaddy said...

Do I get university credits for reading this post? I feel as though there should be degrees for this type of information.

January 04, 2007 8:45 AM  
Blogger Air Time said...

You get college of lifelong learning credits for this one.

January 04, 2007 8:49 AM  
Anonymous heidi said...

I dont know air, I can honestly say I think I feel dumber after reading this post ;-)

January 04, 2007 9:50 AM  
Blogger yingerman said...

(clearing throat)

anywaaaay, there is ,last I checked, a rather large trough at Bushkill Falls in Pennsylvania.
Talk about gross, big n' small peeing in unison.
Personally I always use a stall even if the bathrooms 6 rows deep, and I'm the only occupant.
I think there's a scientific name for it but I can't pee in public it just doesn' for me.

January 04, 2007 10:46 AM  
Blogger Air Time said...

Oh man, I forgot to talk about ice in the toilet

January 04, 2007 2:03 PM  
Blogger Jack's Shack said...

Ok, I have blogged about this before. You can look at:

The Germophobe

Ladies Urinal

Talking Penis

Teach Your Boy To Pee Like a Man

Urine For a Story

He Stole My Lunch

Ok, enough time shilling for my blog.

January 04, 2007 4:57 PM  
Blogger Air Time said...

Jack -

You've blogged about everything. Thats what happens when you post eighteen times a day.

January 04, 2007 5:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

why is Rock of Galilee no longer on your blogroll? You have disturbed my blog viewing routine.

January 10, 2007 1:10 PM  
Blogger bec said...

you have just answered all of my previously unanswered questions about urinals.
in amsterdam, they had these out side urinals--the men walked into one end of what looked like a metal mesh spiral and in the middle of the spiral was a drain into which they could pee. unfortunately for us womenfolk, if we needed a public restroom, it was to the train station for us!

January 10, 2007 3:52 PM  

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