Black Heat Remembered

It is times like this, as I prepare myself to grill on Yom Tov, that my thoughts turn to Black Heat. She was the lover I never had. Beautiful black rounded body, with a soul that burned charcoal and inflamed passion.

I got her as a father's day gift in 1998, and from then until 2002, she served us well. Her large grill was more than enough to entertain and feed as much company as we wanted, and her fiery coals burned 12 months a year.

Tragedy happened in the fall of 2001. Was it nature? Terror? Act of God? I will never know.

It was October 2001. We went away for lunch on the fine Succos afternoon. When we returned home, our Succah had collapsed, and there, buried beneath the rubble of our tarp and PVC-pipe succah, lay Black Heat.

She was badly wounded, and her once round shape was now ovalesque. Still, that Simchat Torah it was not without some joy that she performed her magic at the Simchat Torah BBQ.

My wife, who had long been jealous of Black Heat, started dropping hints that it was time to get rid of that "messy bitch in the backyard" and get a nice gas grill.

I resisted. You don't just get rid of a grill like that. Not after all she went through. Still, the following Summer we moved, and Mrs. Air Time put her foot down. Only one of them were moving to our house. I thought about it, and decided to kepp Mrs. Air Time. I knew I would miss Black Heat, but I would miss Mrs. Air Time more.

I found a nice family to take Black Heat in. They did not love her like I did, and soon after Black Heat found her way into the dumpster.

So as you are eating your Shavuot meal this year, take a moment to think of Black Heat. A grill who done good for herself.