Monday, March 06, 2006

Friday Night Fun

Friday night

My oldest woke me up at 2:30 on Friday night. Until that point, Friday night had not been that great. First, I decided to pass on dipping in the chulent for a Friday night treat. Then, I fell asleep on the couch, trying to finish off David Sedaris' book, Me Talk Pretty One Day.

But it was about to get worse.

My oldest, you see, had woken up a few minutes before, turned his head, and thrown up all over his bed.

I still feel nauseous, he said, and so i told him to go throw up in the bathroom. Maybe I should have been more specific, because a minute later, there he was, throwing up Vomit #2 in the sink.

Next time use the toilet, I told him, which he did for vomits 3, 4 and 5. And then, somewhere between 4 and 5, he went to sleep in my bed. I made my way to my littlest's bed, who was spending shabbos with Bubby.

My littlest's bed is perfect for her, because she doesn't weigh anything, but it was not very comfortable for a full grown man.

And so in the morning, I told my oldest he would not be going to shul with me.

But what about going to my friend's house. You see, he was invited to spend Shabbos at a friends, but we limited him to sleeping and home and spending the next day at his friend’s house. How, he wondered, was he going to get to his friends house.

Guess, I challenged him.

You'll walk me over after shul, he asked.

Try again.

My friend will come pick me up, he queried.

No, I told him. You threw up all night last night. You are not going to your friend's house for lunch.

My oldest didn't argue, and I guess he wasn't feeling too good anyway, because he went back into my bed, where he slept all morning, and then, slept all afternoon.

Which kept him up late into Saturday night, watching the Red Wings win and seeing the Pistons take a seven point halftime lead against the Lakers.

Every time someone in the house vomits, I am reminded of my friend Michelle's wedding. I drank too much, and ate too much, and as we drove back from the wedding to Veev's parent's house in Passaic, with Veev's parents in the car, I opened the door on the west side highway, and threw up all over the street and car door.

Oh, and as Veev always reminded, there was a unusually loud fart that happened simultaneously to the throwing up.

We tried bringing my vomit covered tie to the cleaners, who took one look at it, asked "Is that Vomit?" and when the answer was affirmative, refused to clean the tie. We don't clean Vomit, they said, a feeling I could not agree with more as I try to clean up my oldest's mess.

He was fine on Sunday though. Or he put on a good show. First playing soccer on Sunday morning, and then playing roller hockey in the afternoon.


Blogger DodahR said...

I think he was still emotional about what happened last week at school. When you get punched by your best friend, it takes its toll.

March 06, 2006 1:09 PM  
Blogger Mirty said...

When my stepdaughter vomited on me during the plane ride home from Israel, I knew I had been initiated into parenthood.

And I wisht that I hadn't been.

March 06, 2006 1:30 PM  
Blogger Emah S said...

Sounds like a true 24 hour bug.....why is it that they always seem to start in the middle of the night so that the initial episode gets the bed, the sheets, the comforter, and anything within 2 foot radius.

not fair, glad he's feeling better!

March 06, 2006 1:39 PM  
Blogger Krunk said...

This entire post was disgusting.But it did remind me of the time I "painted" the fire hydrant on the corner of Lincoln and Greenfield.Those times are over tho.And now comes purim...

March 06, 2006 2:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

these conditions are far worse in israel.

24 hour viruses linger.
vomiting is smellier and harder to clean up.
and you are lucky to get away with only a simultaneous fart.

March 07, 2006 2:05 AM  
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