Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Aunt Roofie

Many years ago, my grandparents and almost all their brothers stopped speaking. Whether the reasons were money-related, intermarriage related, or some stupidity is irrelevant to me. I can't imagine being so angry at one of my siblings that we cease to communicate. I once had a fight with one of my sisters. It lasted two weeks and then we were fine. Better than ever. Your family is your foundation. They know you better than anyone. They share the same memories as you. They love you unconditionally.

So now. One of my Grandma's brothers lived in Florida, about an hour north of their winter apartment. It always struck me as odd that they lived so close without seeing each other. On a visit to see my grandparents one winter, my mother called him. A later winter, I called. I went with my Grandma to the flea market close to his house and he met me there. We walked around a bit and talked, but my Grandma had disappeared. They weren't speaking.

They reconciled and saw each other in the recent winters that my grandparents were in Florida. They re-formed a strong relationship with his wife also. Aunt Ruthie was the glue, she was a saint. My dad and aunt always had good feelings for her, even my grandparents did. She danced as part of a troupe in her condo village, she had lots of friends, and she always made everybody feel at ease. Last year when my great-uncle died, we were all in Israel for a family wedding. Ruthie didn't call my Grandma to tell her because she didn't want to ruin the Simcha. My Grandma tore Kriyah before she even unpacked.

My grandparents went to Florida this past Sunday for their usual five months and called Ruthie to say Hi and to try to see her while my dad was still in town. They called for two days with no answer. Finally they called Ruthie's brother to see what was up. He said "You're too late." My dad said, "How late?" She died last week, the funeral was in New York on Friday. My family lives in New Jersey. No one had been called.

Apparently, although my grandparents and their relatives reconciled, none had been forgiven by the next generation.


Anonymous hostess said...

Glad your generation is smarter than the generations before. You were taught well.

October 25, 2006 11:43 AM  
Anonymous m in mke said...

Veev -

I cannot complain about your posts; it is fun and enjoyable to know how you, R, D, ED, and that little girl I never personally met are doing.
But with your blogging frequency and Air's LACK OF BLOGGING, maybe you should change it back to her Time, like it was a while back.

October 26, 2006 9:43 PM  
Blogger Veev said...

Maybe I should.

October 27, 2006 2:00 AM  
Blogger da shevster said...

u only have 2 sisters and it wasnt me. i think i know who it was!!

October 29, 2006 5:51 PM  
Blogger Veev said...

You're funny, Shev. I meant my biological sister.

October 30, 2006 8:51 AM  

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