The Peeing Adventures of My Middlest
There was a time when my Middlest would only pee in a toilet. But one day, he discovered that in an emergency, he could find a pee tree, and go there.
Ever since, I don't think he can pass a tree without thinking, “Hey, I could pee here.”
My middlest is the bat boy for his older brother's Little League team. He insists that he is a crucial part of the team, so when I suggested that he skip yesterday’s doubleheader which took place in Detroit, he looked at me as if I suggested he throw all his Resuce Heroes in the trash.
So I brought him. I picked the boys up from camp, and drove straight to the field. It was during the second game when he decided he needed to go. The regular coach couldn’t stay for two games, so I was coaching the team, and couldn’t take him anywhere. Not that there was anywhere nearby to take him, the park had eight or ten baseball fields, but no bathrooms.
I looked around, and told him to go pee by the fence next to the construction zone that was behind the field.
Then I turned my focus back to the game.
A moment later I heard the sound of streaming water splashing on gravel. I turned around to see my middlest standing in the dugout, peeing through the wire fence and onto the path that lead into the field.
The team was behind him laughing hysterically, none louder than my oldest.
And the smile on middlest, absolutely priceless.
Ever since, I don't think he can pass a tree without thinking, “Hey, I could pee here.”
My middlest is the bat boy for his older brother's Little League team. He insists that he is a crucial part of the team, so when I suggested that he skip yesterday’s doubleheader which took place in Detroit, he looked at me as if I suggested he throw all his Resuce Heroes in the trash.
So I brought him. I picked the boys up from camp, and drove straight to the field. It was during the second game when he decided he needed to go. The regular coach couldn’t stay for two games, so I was coaching the team, and couldn’t take him anywhere. Not that there was anywhere nearby to take him, the park had eight or ten baseball fields, but no bathrooms.
I looked around, and told him to go pee by the fence next to the construction zone that was behind the field.
Then I turned my focus back to the game.
A moment later I heard the sound of streaming water splashing on gravel. I turned around to see my middlest standing in the dugout, peeing through the wire fence and onto the path that lead into the field.
The team was behind him laughing hysterically, none louder than my oldest.
And the smile on middlest, absolutely priceless.
posted by Air Time at 8:48 AM
14 Comments:
Hysterical. Reminds me of my Middlest. When he was training, we got to a point where when he had to pee, he would signal his need by dropping his pants.
Once I thought it would be nice to take him to shul with me on a Shabbos morning and give the wife a break. I load him up with books and some nosh and then tried to daven a little.
Next thing I know, I turn around and there he is, standing next to me with an expecting look on his face, with his pants around his ankles.
I'm probably the first person to use his tallis to cover a naked child.
A lot of peeing in odd places goes on in the Air Time family, don't it?
Hilarious. Why does it seem that this peeing thing is more a boy than girl thing?
Actually, if you've been following, at Airtime peeing is not gender biased.
JPT - Great shul story. It's why I refuse to bring a kid to shul who can't go by themselves
Geb - There should be a beer ad about great bloggers. We are real men of genius
M4 - I suspect that with your boys you have some equally amusing pee stories.
Krum - As you know, boys can pee anywhere. Its always more complicated with girls, but JPT is right, the last pee story was an all female affair.
All right, I have a good one. I took my youngest for his yearly checkup when he was three, and they asked him to pee in a cup to check his urine. He balked, but I explained to him that the Dr's have to make sure that he is healthy and this is one way to do it. the next day, I happened to pass by the bathroom in our house as he was peeing, and he was peeing into a paper cup he had taken from the kitchen. When I asked him why in the world he was doing that, he said "I want to keep healthy!"
Now we're getting some good pee stories.
I'm ROTFL
"...there was this one time in band camp..."
RPG - just curious, is boy three also known as husband?
No, she had another baby, Dear.
does new baby boy #3 already pee on the bathroom floor?
OK, I will say this once and it is not to be repeated. I peed on the mohel.
Last year when all the family was visiting, our #3 peed in the middle of the sidewalk by the pizza store, and no one noticed until a full stream was coming out.
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